God Damn you netflix

Jesus H Christ, first they get you with the month free and you're hooked for f'ing life. Shit is like crack but I guess I have watched some pretty good movies lately, one of the weirder ones being Mullholland Dr. by David Lynch. I have never been so unexpectently terrified and confused in the same sitting. Maybe his stuff gets better with age, who knows...

The screenplay is progressing which is really rewarding to report. I get ideas now and then and for the msot part they're somehow managing to come together. More to come when I progress further.

School almost over? Indeed

Craziest weather since I've been in Portland

To all out there who have been in Portland to experience the weather this week I applaud you. It has truly been one of the weirdest weeks of my life and a huge challenge simply because of the fact that I'll wake up to bright sunshine, have it change into downpour, then go back to sunshine, then hail, and then go back to down pouring. This week is definitely up there with 107 degree day 2009, and snow day 2008.

Meanwhile as the weather continues to go through manic depression its also done me the kindness of dragging me along with it. I'm not lying when I say some of the days this week I've literally woken up and just said to myself "fuck it, there's no way this is going to be fun" and much to my expectation it usually hasn't been, however, like all dark times I'm sure this one will pass. At this point it's just a matter of when...

Writing has been up and down lately but I'm happy to say that I am chugging along through the screenplay. Some days are better than others but at this point I've got around 40 pages and considering that this is more than I've written in my entire life I'm pretty happy. I'm glad I have that drive to always want more and never be satisfied but sometime it nice to sit back and reflect and what you've accomplished. I know this will get made one day and when it does I hope everyone who sees it can somehow cope with what some of the things I've described. I feel like I get super specific sometimes but as long as that overall feeling comes through I'll be happy.

I'd really like to meet some more cool film people in Portland, where they are, Im not sure.


Danny

Conflict

Normally when I write these things I have a general idea of what I want to convey and I can only hope my use of the English language can capture if not just a piece of what I'm really feeling. Today was weird to say the least. After over a year of inconsistencies with a previous landlord everything finally came to a screaching halt in small claims court today and surprisingly enough it wasn't actually in the court but rather mediation services. It was deafening, scary, blind, and most principally full of inconsistancies from both sides.

One part of me wants to believe that I don't have to go through life marking down every single detail with a recorder hanging around my neck all the times and yet our law system encourages that ad nausem. I can be a pretty crass person sometimes but when your problem is a person and that person is sitting right in front of you its hard to call them out even if you believe it more than anything else.

Things went well today but I somehow feel that it shouldn't even get this far in the first place.

Its very frustrating at times

I suppose thats my bad that I didn't realize it was an El Nino year

I just KNEW that somethign was fishy when it was 55 and sunny in feburary. Here I am sitting to myself saying " gee, I usually hate this month, what a pleasent surprise " and then like a sock full of quarters to the dome BOOM and it starts to rain forever. Funny things to look back on. I fancy this week to be like when I get caffine overdoses and all of sudden wonder why I'm so depressed only to realize that I accidentally drank too much coffee. Again, funny things.

Court case is less than a week away. By next week I will either be potentially 700$ richer or...well...You know I'd rather not think about that.

Stay positive, 700$: Assload of food/One Ultegra groupset

Cheers

Rain lethargy

Maybe its just the tasty burger that I just ate or the persistent rain or the fact that I'm recovering from a race weekend but I for real am soaring in the clouds. Not in a dream sequence cathartic kind of way but more so as if I were an airplane caught in turbulence.

When basic brain functions stop its best to wither let go or fight it into obscurity. In this case I don't know which way to go.

Lets see...

A great weekend has just passed and I now find myself thoroughly buried in spring break shenanigans; which at this point just means that I woke up at ten today as opposed to nine on a normal school day. I'm fairly confidant I'll be working several times this week which means a couple days at the factory but sometimes its just nice to clock out and let your mind wander while you organize huge amounts of paper. Something about that place is very stimulating for me. Definitely not all the time but I swear I feel like I'm in a Goddard movie when I work sometimes.

The UO/OSU omnium was this last weekend and the entire event has left me on a very good note. Granted I'm still recovering like any normal person and am still sore from falling on my ass yesterday but there's truly nothing like finishing all three races comfortably. Its probably important to note that last year I came out of this weekend feeling much different. Cold, dead, lacking motivation, etc...

Honestly I'm at a loss for words describing fully what it feels like to do "okay" on a race weekend and yet there is something about just being able to finish with a pack that is very satisfying; like what I'm doing isn't just me struggling to finish.

Writing is muted write now. Don't exactly know what that means but I'm rolling with it.

Good deal.

First Ride Of The Season

That's right I capitalized everything in that title, because it might as well be a book. I will admit it is funny writing about my first actual ride when the Eugene/Corvallis race is just around the corner and the Boise race is over and finished with. Everyone gives me massive shit for not showing up to weekend/training rides over the winter but can we be honest here for a second. If Portland were a child it would most definitely be bi-polar and I'm not about to kit up and go outside when I know that it could all of a sudden decide that it wants to dump rain. I don't care what anybody says, when you're out their riding and its cloudy but not raining and you feel that first drop hit you're face there's definitely a feeling of disappointment; even in the most dedicated of NW people. So it should come as no surprise that my first ride came in 55 degree weather and in almost completely clear skies. At the very least I'm consistent. I can accept being cold and wet while riding a bike, I only request that I'm racing cyclocross when doing so.

Smack dab in the middle of finals week and I must say I quite pleased with myself. I said it last term and even though I failed to do so then I'll say it again; there's a possibility that I could get straight A's for the first time in my life and this pleases me. My writing teacher, in an unexpected but pleasant turn of events, said she really enjoyed my writing which was great to hear. I'm once again trying to write a story on my own time and hearing from a professor that I'm good at developing character only makes me want to write more. My German final took a nice turn for the better as well. To anybody who thinks Spanish is the easiest language to learn I dare you to try German. It's like English in so many ways I'm amazed more people don't speak it.

The last time I showered was last week so I'm going to take care of that in earnest.


DBF