I will never have this or, Old people/dentists rejoice!

While it may come as a surprise to some, sometimes I'm not the best mechanic. Over the past year I've "overcome" (fucked up) a variable cornucopia of "hurdles" (bike parts), and its just now that I'm actually beginning to get a grasp of what I'm really dealing with when it comes to fixing my shit. Yes, it can be discouraging and to a very extent dangerous ( crank arm falling off twice...), but the great puzzle that is bike tuning is now actually coming to fruition, myself having just found all the edges of said metaphorical puzzle. However no matter how long I ride or how much I try to learn, I don't think I'll ever truly understand the mystery behind cables and housing. Sure, the concept is simple enough, cables connect to derailleurs, which then stretch cable to different increments to change the gears, etc etc, but for some reason or other when ever that faithful time comes around when I'm having to put all my weight on my shifters in order to change gears because their so full of gunk, I always know it will be an involved laborious process. TO contrast here's what most mechanics go through:

Replace cables and housing when worn/tattered:
- Remove old housing
- Remove old cables
- Put on new cables
- Put on new housing
- Adjust accordingly
- Eat a sandwich

Now here's what those fat cats in Washington aren't telling ya! Or how I go about the same process...

- Remove old housing
- Accidentally messing up shifting
- Curse
- Pay for new housing
- Mix shifting up with brake cabling
- Curse
- Measure old housing length
- Accidentally cut too short
- Cry
- More crying
- Laborious rebuilding/repacking of self-esteem ( like hubs, time consuming )
- Put shifting back on
- Put cables back on
- prematurely cut cables in foolhardy move
- figure out that I need shorter housing with current cable length


The list goes on. But wait! A light at the end of the tunnel? It can't be...



Excalibur! There is a God! Finally a system built just for me. Oh, I can't wait... What? Wait a minute, whats the you say...




Oh...Well at least the dentists will be happy. Until then my plight continues: the endless battle between cables and myself. I believe Captain Barbosa put it best...

Barbossa: Are we to be two immortals locked in an epic battle until Judgment Day and trumpets sound?


Answer:
Probably